LOL: Beats being rescued by the U.S. Navy 900 miles off Japan?

PHOENIX – After being lost and stranded for five months in the vast and mighty Phoenician Luxury Resort pool in Scottsdale, AZ, the fearless yet somewhat dim-witted crew was saved by Tiffany, the scantily yet elegantly clad pool hostess – clearly a professional – who hailed, "Would you like another mojito? You'd don't have to pan-pan me every time you need a drink." If the saga had dragged on for another 24 hours likely we would have drifted to the Scottsdale Princess Hotel. Who wants our book and movie rights?